Sunday, December 30, 2012

Mutual Respect and Admiration

Sometimes you run into someone you really admire. Someone who is good at all the things you tried but failed. Someone who makes you rethink if you've really tried hard enough, and wonder whether you should give it another shot because just maybe, you could turn out just a little more like them. It's nice when people like that turn out to appreciate you too, especially when they use your photography on their website for self promotion.


Check it out! My photograph and name on someone else's website!

Marvin Dee is my vocal coach, friend, and a singer songwriter I have come to really like. And, since he is using his website to show off my work, I figured I would use my blog to show off his. After all, that's what a friend/fan does. Go check out his website, and if you like his music, like his facebook page and show some support! 



Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Why I Support 3FM Serious Request

This week, like all weeks before Christmas in the last nine years, the entire nation has been focused on a glass studio built on a square somewhere in the country. In this glass studio, three radio DJ's have locked themselves without food for seven days, playing requested songs for charity. Millions of people flock to the square, the website, the call-centre, to request their favourite song in return for a donation starting at ten euros. Many companies and organizations also collect money for the cause, regularly resulting in six figure checks made out to the cause.

Selfish acts fueled by a need for recognition, self-promotion, a "cool" image and general acceptance by the public? Definitely. Shameless publicity stunt? Maybe. But none of that matters if it leads to the collective generosity of a nation. A nation supposedly in crisis, thousands unemployed, many struggling to make ends meet. And yet, somehow, fueled by all this media attention, they manage to give away 12.251.667,- Euros. 


Some people have spoken out against the cause, some simply refuse to contribute, and some even claim the action just leads to more hardship and pain. Rik Smits wrote for the Volkskrant, a national Newspaper, that he refuses to give to Serious Request because saving babies in Africa means dooming them for a long life filled with hard work, poverty, and unhappiness. He may not be wrong by definition, but he is clearly missing the point. First of all, part of his argument is that these babies will grow up in an environment where they "will never taste a really good steak". I'm sorry to say, Rik Smits, but steak is not a proper measurement for quality of life. Furthermore, quality of life and happiness are two completely separate things. You see, Rik Smits, just because you define your self-worth and personal success by the number of steaks you eat, doesn't mean that this is the meaning of life for everyone. Life isn't always about gluttony, but sometimes about survival, a sense of community and sharing, and appreciating the little things. 

And Rik, the soul of the project lies not in the fact that these DJs don't eat all week, so the fact that they consume fruit and vegetable juice mixes doesn't take away from the fact that they are focusing everyone's attention away from their selfishly constructed shopping lists for Christmas, toward a cause that goes forgotten most days of the year. Their fasting period is simply part of the ritual, that has been repeated nine times by now. It is something they started doing a long time ago, and cannot simply stop doing because it is an integral part in the serious request process; it is simply another symbolic act, that may seem empty, but is in fact an important part of the whole media hype that fuels the process. You don't have to put your own health at risk in order to help another human being, and you don't have to give up enjoyment to share the wealth. Just because Serious Request has beer drinking and partying to thank for it's success, doesn't mean it's not a valid project. 

My dad put it really nicely the other day. He's not the most liberal minded man, but he happens to think that Serious Request is an excellent idea. Why, you may ask, Rik Smits; because sees the importance of the connection people make with the cause through the specification and personification of that cause. Making it relatable, recognizable, makes people somehow care. Even those people who object so strongly to state-funded, tax-fueled, development aid give to this cause because it's no longer an abstract, far away, waste of tax money, but a very tangible issue that people want to contribute to. So that selfish, media hyped fuel that has made Serious Request so successful may be an empty, individualist act of capitalism, but it is also exactly what you need to do to make people participate: make it about themselves. In the process of fueling everyone's selfish need to be on the radio, be on television, come across as generous, people incidentally (accidentally or intentionally) contribute to another cause, in this case bringing down infant death rates; and we all understand the concepts "death" and "babies".

Perhaps the cause is selected each year by the DJ's or some other 3FM big-shot's choice, and not by some well thought out process of careful selection, but does it really matter? Choosing a cause that Eric Corton is an ambassador for simply assures his genuine involvement and conviction. Three grown men crying inside a glass studio for the world to see because a woman is telling them about the child she lost just speeds up the process. And you're right when you say that there are another hundred issues we need to tackle before these saved babies have easy lives, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve a chance at one. More importantly even, is the fact that not only are these children given a chance at life, but these mothers are spared the emotional and physical pain of losing a child during childbirth, or before, or even on the months after. Fewer women will feel like failures, feel like their husbands will abandon them for failing to provide them with healthy offspring. 

So you can keep bitching and moaning about how saving babies will only lead to more issues to tackle after they are saved, like dengue and malaria and overpopulation, and that we also need to structurally attack problems like "poverty and misery". The truth is, Rik Smits, that you can only achieve one thing at a time, and Serious Request happens to have achieved about 12 million times more than you have with your little column. Although I had never heard of you before, I'm sure many people read your columns religiously, but I don't currently see you using that fame for the sake of other people, how selfishly motivated that may be. In fact, you're using the Serious Request to get attention form the public, without thereby contributing to a cause. You're participating in the very process you condemn in the most selfish of ways possible.

Yes, we've only just started chipping away at the world's issues, but you wouldn't be enjoying your beautifully prepared red meat either if it wasn't for proper healthcare. And just so you know, I too live in this country, and I too could have died at childbirth without proper care, but I most definitely measure my self-fulfillment and general happiness by the amount of steak I eat. In fact, some of us become happier people by helping others, by participating in our community, and by seeing the joy in the fact that we are able, have the means, to help others less fortunate. Sure, it's a nice sentiment that we need to tackle many more issues than just this one, but the fact of the matter is that publicly tapping into the selfish motivations of people is much more effective than forcing tax payers to contribute to something invisible. I for one happen to think it's a brilliant idea, and next year we'll tackle the next problem, and the year after another. I'm aiming for 15 million in 015 in 2015, and I don't think I'm alone, because those 12 million euro's raised this year sure as hell didn't come from just me. 


You can read Rik Smits' article (in Dutch) here.

Friday, November 16, 2012

The Art of Self Loathing

People always want what they can't have. People are always their own harshest critics. And on top of that, when it comes to other people, the bad stuff is always easier to believe. So why exactly is it, that we judge ourselves so harshly, that we can never seem to satisfy our own expectations as well as those of others? Why is it, that we're constantly looking for a reason that we need to be even better, that our achievements are only a stepping stone, that who we are is just average? Or maybe that's just me. 

Today, I was told that my confidence is pretty damn low. I disagreed. I don't think I'm all that uncertain of myself; who I am, what I've achieved, what I'm good at. I think I'm overly modest sometimes, but never overly insecure. Except when it comes to one thing: performing. When I was 16, my drama teacher told me that I was too heavy, and not talented enough to be an actress, so she didn't want to waste her time on me. I guess that kind of stuck with me, because I haven't been able to stand on a stage and actually open my mouth, in front of people ever since. 

Part of me is thankful to her for being a first class bitch, because it launched me into my pursuit of the visual arts: painting, art school, and eventually photography and film-making. Which, by the way Mrs King-Lachance, I excel at! Actually, I'm so good at it, that the University I attend wants to use my BA film to promote their MA program. Also, fuck you just for good measure. The other part of me, the tiny, 16 year old, self-discovering teenager, is screaming at the top of hear lungs at my 25 year old self to stop torturing herself with this new found hobby called voice-lessons. Because, as much as I've decided I need to conquer my fears and do something for myself instead of other people, I still haven;t gotten over the fact that so many people in the past have told me not to bother. Those who have told me not to care, and do what makes me happy, are somehow drowned out. Even if they are more recent, and belong to more valuable people. 

I refuse to believe I am the only person who does this. As an anthropologist, and a little bit for my own piece of mind, I have to argue that this is behaviour that occurs in all kinds of people. Even those who are winning at life. The truth is, I haven't done so badly for myself. I almost have a masters degree in athropology, I have amazing friends, I take a mean photo of naked ladies, and I even manage to look kind of pretty on a good day. So why is it that, when it comes to my voice lessons, I become an unsteady, sticky-handed, nervous wreck? Are those voices from the past really so loud that I can drown them out? Do they need to be, do I want them to be, do I let them? Why is the negative so much easier to accept then the positive. Even worse, why is the negative so much easier to believe than the positive? Both must occasionally be equally as true, and neither can be so overpowering of the other. Everyone is good at something, and no one is good at everything, right? 

I manage to sing pretty loudly along to spotify when I'm home alone. Even at 2AM on a weeknight, and sometimes, it really doesn't suck. But when I'm with my voice-coach, or even worse, in front of people, all I can tell myself is "I can't do it". Telling myself that actually makes it so that I physically, actually, can't do it. So then, why doesn't it help when I tell myself that "I can", or someone else tells me? It works when I, or someone else, tells me the opposite... 

Silly creatures, we. Well, me. Silly as I am, I'm a really decent baker. You should taste my Chocolate Ganache and Raspberry Tart. I'm a relatively independent, intelligent young woman. I'm caring and selfless, and I'm also really good at making other people see the beauty in themselves, albeit with photography or words. Now, it's time to learn how to do that to myself. 

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Sisters

Last night I got bored and decided it had been too long since I took any decent photographs, so I arranged to get together in the studio for an impromptu photoshoot. Together with Erik Jansen, Nadia and Bianca, I headed to the studio without any plan or preparation to see what the result would be. Although Nadia and Bianca are both very fun types, especially when together, working on my thesis still has me a bit stuck in melodramatic, dark themes and the shoot turned out a little different than I had expected. I was simply unable to conjure up happy inspiration, and had to go with something more somber and dark. This is the outcome. 










Many thanks to the girls, Bianca and Nadia, and of course to Erik, whose brand new Studio is not only located in the heart of Delft, but also very much for rent. So, if you're looking for a great accessible space to have a photoshoot, business meeting or workshop, contact Erik via his website www.erikjansenfotografie.nl or find De Zuster 0.11 on Facebook.